“What are we going to do when. . . ?”
BletJaw and I were driving back from MeDooGlow with a load of concrete one day. The early morning sun was beautiful as it lit up the different color leaves in the jungle, and in passing, you could even hear the beautiful songs of many birds. I always try to see the birds that are behind those lovely solos. They are beautiful!
BletJaw’s next words jolted me out of my serenity, and though they were spoken softly and gently, I felt them with reverberating loudness in my brain. – “What are we going to do when Breck leaves?”
Oh no! That was something I did not want to think about! “I don’t know, I answered. But God always knows how to take care of us.” I thought about all the help Breck was with patient care, the restocking of medicine and supplies for our backpack trips, the worships, the hand stands and back flips, the miles and miles of driving and heavy work he had done for the building project. I thought about the quiet consistent Christian that he is. I could always depend on his positive, cheerful, 100% support in all that I was involved in. I thought about his ability to counsel and advise others, his overwhelming love for the people and the work here. I thought about how we laughed together over many funny things that happened, for example, when I bit into a bar of soap someone gave me, thinking it was a sweet orange treat!
Now, tonight, the first night in BYT without Breck, I sit under my mosquito net wondering with amazement how our human brains work. Why is it that everything was fine before Breck ever got here, but now, after working with Breck these last 7 1/2 months, it is NOT fine anymore here without him? My eyes are filled with tears right now, and my heart hurts. I hurt for him as well because it seems so much harder to be the one leaving.
Anybody looking on when the three of us said our final good-byes would not understand the weeping that took place. We miss Breck more than we can explain. There is a big empty hole everywhere we look. We are not the only ones who feel this way. There are many young little boys and older bigger boys all over the place that feel so very sad also.
One thing is absolutely clear to me, whenever I feel a loss and my heart aches, God ALWAYS gives me more love for others. “Nothing is too hard for the Lord.” He alone can fill the empty holes in my heart with His own lovely presence, and with the loss, He gives me a deep yearning for the time we will never part again and bright hope for the future life with Jesus. May all those boys that Breck has witnessed to and who are missing him now, find the love of Jesus and the same joyful hope for the future is my prayer.
None of us know what God has in store for Breck’s future, but one thing we do know for sure, wherever he is sent, he will give his whole heart, and bring untold blessings to those he works with. —but— BletJaw and I can’t help but pray, “If it is Your will, dear Lord, send Breck back here to work with us.” still again we add, “We only want Thy perfect will alone to be done in all things dear Lord.”
Breck, you are still a part of the team here. We value your ideas and need you to share our experiences. We miss you so much and we will always love you!
BletJaw and Gayle