I felt like I was getting sick, my feet were sore and rotten from so much walking and running in the rain and mud with only cheap flip flops on my feet, someone had let me down, and with the constant, long term rain, I couldn’t go to BYT. My spirits seemed dampened. “Oh Lord,” I cried “I need some time alone with You, help me please.” I know God always answers those prayers and sure enough, I was able to get away and spend 2 ½ days in a cheap but nice motel room in Mae Salit. There I fell on my knees and sought out the Lord for my lonely, needy soul.
I was seeking a ray of light from the throne of God. “One small ray please Lord!” I was seeking a personal word from God. What was He thinking about me? What does He want to tell me just now? Oh to hear some word – perhaps He needed to rebuke me, change my ways, tell me to do something. I wanted to join Him, to go where He is, do what He is doing, know a little about what He is thinking of me.
For 2 days I prayed and studied the Bible and found peace and joy, but yet not my very own personal ray of light! My prayers took on more intensity. “I will not leave until You bless me Lord. I cannot face all that I have to do without a personal word from You.”
It was the morning of the 3rd day alone with God that it happened. I had been reading the Bible through and I decided that morning to read my usual place where I left off – Isaiah 62. I communed with God by reading one verse, -that was God talking to me. Then I would talk to God about it and anything else I thought of because of the verse, -that was me talking to God. I was going verse by verse like that. This way we are communing together. It was very special. I was thrilled to hear from God verse 1 and 2, also Jesus Himself will give me a new name. When I came to verse 3, it shone out to me like a bright light. This has happened to me before, but very seldom. These words shone deep inside my heart and actually took my breath away!
“Thou shalt also be a crown of glory in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of thy God. Thou shalt no longer be termed forsaken.”
Tears streamed down my face as it dawned on me that God had nothing but tender love for me, more than I had ever thought possible. Oh how could He love me so?! A deeper fuller love flooded my being more than ever before. This is God, my very own Father! He thinks this much of me! Oh, how I love Him! I will go forward, I will work for Him, I will live for Him, I will suffer for Him, I will die for Him!
Thank you Jesus for answering your prayers and giving you encouragement through His Word.